Sleep tight...

I've shared a glance into mornings at my house...now let's talk about the nights. The nights of this past week in particular. Why this week you ask? Well, simply because it was this past week that my family was hit by a plague, making nights all the more interesting.

Ok, ok, "plague" is a teeny bit dramatic. We have been bombarded by a UTI, a breast infection, ramdom spiking fevers, raging gastritis, upper respiratory infections, diarrhea, and finally pneumonia. Now that I list it all, maybe 'plague' was fair.

Now, this litany of ailments is a bit bizzare for my family, who are normally quite healthy (ramdom otherwise-unheard-of-ailments notwithstanding). But this past week, life has changed - and the nightlife in particular.

I admit, I have been known to see 2am on more than one occasion by my own volition, but those days have passed. I now find myself trembling with anticipation at the very thought of crawling into my bed and slumbering in blissful unconsciousness for as many hours as possible. My very perky morning children are also very cantankerous little creatures when their ailments interrupt their sleep. Where are the little urchins who solicitously creep into their parents bedrooms softy whispering requests for aid or comfort?? I've got three little Banshees screaming blue murder from their room, jolting me from my bed and sending me flailing through the darkness to battle whatever evil that is attacking my child.

They often want juice.

I prepare for these nights much like an army medic prepares for battle. I begin by securing the scene. I methodically check the temperature, humidity, lighting, and availability of blankets and pillows of all three kids. I then prepare myself physically and mentally. While going through my bedtime ritual, I consider possible complications and contingency plans for the next 12 hours. If my husband is out of town, these plans become considerably more elaborate to the point where I have been known to steal gas from the lawn mower to make sure my van has enough fuel to get a sick kid to the hospital. (there's a sight at 11pm - me in my jammies funnelling gas into my Honda).

I then procure the necessary supplies for the evening- essentially stocking my "kit". I often find it necessary to use a plastic container to transport it all to my nightstand. I need a light, water, juice (for when water is refused), Kleenex, diapers, nose spray, ResQRemedy, Camilla, honey cough syrup, gas drops, a syringe, and a shot of crystal meth to keep me up long enough to apply all these treatments (Ok...I'm exaggerating again).

I stock extra pillows within reaching distance of the bed so I can simply slide over and make a new spot when bodies are added. I put on an extra undershirt. I place a pair of socks at my bedside so I don't have to walk on the cold floor, and a sweatshirt at the foot of my bed so I don't freeze to death if I'm out of the bed for more than 30 seconds. Rumour has it my circulation isn't great when I'm comatose.

I plug in a baby monitor so I can hear if one of them flutters an eyelash, and then make another round through the house making sure everything is ready for whatever the night throws at us. Is my cell phone charged? Is the stereo turned off so the house won't burn down? Could I find a bra before the paramedics got here? Is the cordless by my bed? Should I wake the snoring child to spray his/her nose or should I wait till he/she starts screaming (typically within 10 minutes of me falling asleep)?

This all might seem a bit excessive, but I desperately yearn to sleep, and my sick children are known to gang up on me in the wee hours. Preparation is my best defense.

My husband has his own nighttime ritual. He will rise from the couch, grunting something that vaguely sounds like "bed" and stumble into the bathroom. Before another nanosecond of time has passed, he is unconscious in our bed, teeth brushed, clothes strewn, often snoring loudly. If I interrupt his well-deserved respite when I crawl into bed, he might offer this sentiment "I sure hope the kids sleep tonight - I'm beat".